The Fine Art of Disagreement

Before I begin, let me dust a bit, get rid of the cobwebs, and make sure my mic still sounds nice.  Check 1.

It has been a while, almost an entire year. Though I was struggling with creativity pre-Covid (y’all saw the posts), COVID really tried to take it out completely. But as Terrance would tell Khadijah every blue moon, “Baby, I’m back!” 

I think. Let’s see how today goes. 

I saw a tweet this morning that said their sexiest trait is having never had a phase where they watched Bill Maher. I liked it, agreed, and down the rabbit hole I went. You see, I like to talk to myself sometimes in order to process. I am, after all, an outward processor. My dislike of Bill Maher goes beyond him being obnoxious, exhibiting veiled (sometimes thinly) racism in almost everything he says (really, Black people? Why? Why did any of us ever see it for this man?), or a contrarian for contrarian’s sake. I also dislike him because he doesn’t know how to disagree without insulting, belittling, or demeaning the person he’s disagreeing with. So, as I was processing this with myself this morning, I was led to a theory—

Say what you want about the south and Midwest, affectionately referred to as “flyover states,” but growing up in these areas, we weren’t given the luxury of being able to escape or exist without encountering those we disagreed with. Sometimes on a daily basis. They showed up in our churches, our schools, our neighborhoods, and sometimes even in our families. So we learned how to navigate the fine art of disagreement. And we understood that everyone has and is entitled to their own opinion, no matter how much we disagree.

I was at an event for my job a few years ago, and said something like this. I caught a bit of hell for it. Let me be clear, no one is entitled to participating in the oppression or degradation of another person, that is wrong. And though opinion can often influence action, it is the opinion alone that is your right. Not the action.

I grew up in one debating-ass family. Some would take this as we don’t love or like each other. Those people would be wrong. We may not have gotten it right all the time, but ultimately, respected everyone’s mind. Respect, however, does not mean a pass. If you needed to be called out, you were (and are…they’ve seen me on the group chats lol). 

What did not, and should not, happen, is mocking or belittling someone for their beliefs. Life experience influences your opinion—it’s more nuanced than many want to admit. Accountability is one thing, mockery is another. 

And we aren’t talking satire, because the “Black Jeopardy” sketches are hilarious. 

Bill Maher, is not.