What is your name?

-My name is Monica.

What is your height?

-I grew an inch last year! I'm now 5'1.

How much do you weigh?

-I fluctuate between 123-125. Working on making that 123 more consistent though.

How old are you?

-I am 30 years, 8 months and 3 weeks old. I'm 30.

Are you okay?

-I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? What else have you heard? Haha no, I'm good. Really.

Are you going through a major change in your life?

-Yes.

Would you care to expound?

-Nope.

What's the reasoning behind last night's post?

-Which one? The one where I was lip-synching "MacArthur Park"? Well let's see, I was in a music mood. I was listening to music and dancing all night. If you followed me on Twitter, you would’ve seen a pretty comical life hack about not listening to OutKast’s "BOB" while chopping vegetables.

No, Monica. The other one.

-Oh, the one where I told everyone to mind their business?

Yes, that one.

-Oh. Well, ever so often, I get messages from people who were questioned by “well-intentioned” folks about my mental and emotional state. I was even told that I have sad eyes and looked crazy last night (sidenote: that is the craziest part of the song, have you heard Donna Summer’s cackle?). It’s funny because those questions also always come at a time in my life where I’m actually okay and happy. No one notices when I don’t use certain platforms for two weeks, but as soon as I’m posting a video of me counting down to the new year, all of a sudden, I must be going through something. I really just want everyone to mind their business, and let me live my life.

Well, you do understand that what you post on social media is viewed as a reflection of your life, right?

-Yes, I get that people have that perception, and, to quote last night’s post, “I think it’s stupid as all shit.” There are occasional posts that reflect what I’m feeling at the moment, but they’re captioned as such. If I posted a picture of a bird I saw, it’s because I think the bird is pretty, there isn’t some deep, underlying reason for me posting the bird. What frustrates me is that people often read too much into things, and especially the wrong things. I was thinking about leaving social media altogether, but then I thought, “Why should I have to change my life because other people are ignorant?” And decided against it.

Well, don’t you think that these people just care?

-The ones who actually care are those who reach out to me directly. The ones who don’t are just nosy and looking for something to gossip about.

So, if they’re nosy and insignificant, why do you care?

-Because they’re like gnats, or better yet, mosquitoes. Because if they land, they’ll take from you and only leave you with an irritated bump. I have O+ blood, mosquitoes love me.

Do you have anything left to add?

-Sure.

Hello, world! Again I ask you, for my sanity and the sanity of my friends and family, if you are truly concerned about me, please, PLEASE, contact me directly. Clearly, you have at least one way to get in touch with me, so use it. Otherwise, leave it alone. This is the last time I’ll address it.

Oh, and to my loved ones, please tell anyone who contacts you to contact me. Do not contact me because of someone else. If they don’t like your response, tell them I said to go jump off something tall.

As for me, I’m going to keep on living. I am human. Sometimes I laugh, actually I laugh a lot. Sometimes, I cry. I feel emotion, and as a living being, I am entitled to do so. Please treat me as you’d want someone to treat you. What I’m not going to do is live how you think I should, no matter what I am or am not going through in my life at the time. This life is mine. Go live yours. And if you happen to post a video of you counting down to the new year or singing disco music, know I’ll be rocking out with you.

That’s all.